


Apathy

by anemptymargin



Category: Black Books
Genre: M/M, Old work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-14
Updated: 2004-09-14
Packaged: 2017-10-18 11:53:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/188635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemptymargin/pseuds/anemptymargin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bernard has always had a certain philosophy on life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Apathy

**Author's Note:**

> Old work presented in it's original and unedited format. All warranties are null and void.

_Philosophy:  
3\. A system of values by which one lives: has an unusual philosophy of life._

 

Bernard Black has always had a certain philosophy on life. While he admits it may not be a perfect one, it has always suited his needs quite well. His philosophy? Apathy. It's always been a very good way of life for him and with a few exceptions it's just easier to not care about most things in general.

The exceptions of course were wine, tobacco and a decent book. They were all very worthy things to care about. Without books he'd be even more broke than he already was and terribly bored even more often, without tobacco he'd never be able to have a good smoke and without wine... well, there is no such thing as a world without wine - and if there is he certainly wouldn't want anything to do with it. The other possible exception happened to be doing something with the shelves that Bernard knew he would probably find terribly annoying if he really cared about it.

Bernard had come to have a kind of an indescribable outlook towards the bloke. Manny had been his assistant for quite some time now, and when he wasn't be an absolute idiot, he wasn't so bad. He was handy at finding things, and always ready with some wine or a light or a sandwich. In fact, while it was all Manny's fault that he had to deal with buying more books - not to mention pricing them or putting them on the shelves - he had to admit it was nice to actually have the money that came with the selling of the books.

"Bernard..." Manny's voice drew the shop owner out of his two-bottle thoughts, causing him to slowly glance upwards from the page he'd been pretending to read. "Are you alright?"

"Quite." He made a big show of marking his place to be sure Manny had noticed that he was interrupting something. Of course, Manny had not noticed.

Instead, he walked down to the desk and pulled out his chair. His chair... when had it become Manny's chair? Bernard shook away the thought, rubbing the corners of his eyes as the other man poured out more wine. "Just... you've been rather quiet tonight. And, uh... well, there's no easy way to say it..."

"What are you on about now?" He sighed to himself and took a long drink off his glass. It was time for another one of Manny's rambling mostly non-nonsensical attempts at conversation.Not that conversation was particularly a bad thing, it just required a lot of talking and some degree of thought.

"Well, you've been reading the same page for two hours." Manny shifted in his seat, slowly sipping at the wine.

"Have not." Had he? It was possible that he had been daydreaming, histories had always been a bit of a bore - but two hours? Impossible.

"Have too." Manny picked up the book and pointed at the page, "Page forty-two. You were on page forty-two when I asked you if you wanted a pizza."

"That wasn't two hours ago... the pizza would be here by now." Ah, logic. That might shut him up.

"You said you wern't hungry."

Ah. Right. Two hours? Not possible...

"You've been awfully distracted lately, Bernard. Are you sure all's good?" Manny was stroking his chin slowly, looking at him a little too closely for complete comfort.

"Fine." Bernard waved a hand, directing his attention anywhere but at his friend. "Just a little... tired." He nodded to himself at the good recovery, tired always worked...

How could he have just lost two hours like that? Sure he'd had some wine... but he was far from drunk. However, he couldn't even remember what he had been thinking about that had caused the words on the page to go runny and not really matter much.

"Right then." Manny nodded, slowly standing up. "You, uh... wanna go get something to eat?"

Food. Yes, food was mostly still in the apathetic category... entirely too much time spent worrying about eating it or preparing it. Unfortunately it was more difficult to feel apathetic about hunger... especially when it pertained to oneself instead of children in Ethiopia or whatever. With a slight nod, Bernard finished off his glass.

***

Sleep. Sleep was another one of those things that made it hard to be apathetic about everything. It was a necessity and for the most part a rather pleasant thing that was easy to do without really thinking about it. Of course, everything changes when one suddenly can't get any.

Bernard sighed and scratched over his stomach, briefly considering rolling onto his side before deciding that would probably take too much effort. Instead, he concentrated on nothing at all.

The problem with concentrating with nothing is that it often leads to concentrating on the furtherest thing from what he would would normally concentrate on. Stupid things like the sound of the rain on the window, or the hollow tapping as it leaked in through the roof onto the spot on the floor where it had leaked for as long as he'd own the place. Things like how another glass of wine would be wonderful, but that would mean getting up and putting on his robe and going downstairs and pouring out the wine...

There was a shallow cough outside his door, but Bernard was too busy deciding if the wine was worth the effort to actually hear it. The gentle knock drew him out of his daze.

"Bernard... are you awake?" Manny's voice came from the other side and Bernard froze... watching a thin beam of light from the hallway as the door cracked open.

He didn't respond, instead he looked up from the floor, to the hem of Manny's robe... up the carefully tied slit down the front and eventually settling on the other man's beard.

"Bernard?"

He groaned and faked a cough to appear as though he'd been sleeping; "What is it, Manny?

Manny stumbled forward, leaving the door partially open. His footsteps echoed with the rain drumming against the window. "I, uh... I couldn't sleep and thought you might be awake." He hoisted a bottle of wine, the reddish color barely visible in the mostly dark room. "I brought some wine."

"Wine, good - great." Bernard pushed himself up on the bed, letting the dusty duvet pool at his waist.

Manny slowly settled into the bed, brushing aside some crumbs before pouring two glasses of red wine. "I've been thinking and..."

"That's your problem." Bernard sighed, fumbling on the nightstand for a cigarette and a light. "If you just stopped thinking so much you wouldn't be so fecking annoying."

There was a pause, "You really think I'm annoying?"

Well. In a word? Yes, sometimes... but from the look that Manny appeared to be tossing at him it might be a bad idea to answer. For anyone else, he'd probably just say the first thing in his mind... but ever since Manny's episode with the photographer he was wary about saying things that could potentially drive him away.

Not that he was afraid of losing Manny, of course not. He'd barely noticed that Manny had gone... were it not for Fran's incessant whining about the man's absence he could have been gone for months without any notice. Possibly. Perhaps. Well, probably no... but that was really irrelevant in the scheme of things because if he felt the way he thought he could then that might mean he was a homosexual. And he was definitely not a homosexual, they're so fussy about that whole shower thing... and the dancing... and that dreadful music...

"Bernard... are you alright?" Manny look concerned again, and Bernard felt it might be best to respond.

"No. I mean. Yes, what was the question again?" His mind had gone off on a tangent again. "You're not really that annoying, Manny."

"Oh. Right." Manny was silent again. He finished his glass and reclined against the headboard, appearing to settle in quite nicely.

He knew what was going on. Fran used to do it all the time, fishing for a compliment... trying to strike up conversation without being the first one to speak. What Manny didn't seem to realize was that it hadn't worked for Fran, and would certainly not work for him.

He poured out more wine and Bernard finished his cigarette, stubbing it out in an old wine glass. "Bernard... do you ever think about love?"

Bernard scoffed, "Love? You're joking, aren't you?" Love. Shite. Pure and simple just a load of crap as far as Bernard cared.

Manny shrugged, "No. I'm not."

Silence again as Bernard really had no response to that. Manny seemed to move closer and pressed another cigarette in Bernard's hand. "Thank you, Manny... I..." Bernard caught himself short, wondering just what it was he was actually going to say.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Bernard sighed and pulled away, suddenly even more confused than before. Perhaps Fran was right and all the wine he'd consumed over the course of his life was catching up to him. Yes, perhaps Manny had thwarted his philosophy of apathy, but it wouldn't be too bad. He could care about the bloke, maybe. You know, assuming it didn't turn out like the last time he actually tried to care about something. And it was beginning to become clear that he'd come for more than just wine and good conversation.

"Right." Manny nodded to himself, his robe falling open at the chest.

By the time Bernard had finished his second cigarette and glass of wine the silence had become just as annoying as the conversation. Finally Bernard snapped, "Why did you come here?"

Manny shrugged again, pushing his hair back. "Just thought you might want to talk, that's all."

"So you have absolutely no intentions of having sex with me?" It was a simple, to the point, question.

The other man seemed amazingly shocked, then rather embarrassed. "I.. uh, well. Of course not." He shook his head, "I like women."

"Sure, sure." Bernard nodded, a tingle near his thighs making him wonder if he was actually interested in the idea or just had an odd itch. It wouldn't be the first time he'd been interested in having sex with a bloke... but it was Manny, "Of course you aren't. Look, maybe you should go back to your room now..."

Manny ran a hand over his beard, "Bernard... what makes you think I was here to... you know..."

"I don't know... you just sort of had that sex aura. Now, if we're not going to have sex this conversation isn't going anywhere and I'm sure you'll have me up at the crack of noon and..."

"I suppose we could." Manny cut him off.

"What?" Confused again, though not about the subject matter.

"Have sex. I suppose." His hands were at the belt of his robe.

"Alright then."

"Right." Manny's belt was untied and he appeared to be hesitating.

"Right." Bernard echoed.

The both finished their third glass and set them beside each other on the nightstand. Bernard's glass tipped, then rolled off and shattered on the floor. Neither of them seemed to notice.

"So, we're going to do it, then?" Manny raised an eyebrow tentatively.

It occurred to Bernard that one of them would have to actually do something, and seeing as how he had already said something he didn't think it should be him. Of course, Manny was annoyingly being himself. Taking what little initiative he wanted, he tossed the covers off his lower half.

"You're naked." Manny was obviously no stranger to the obvious, that was a nice bonus.

"Nice of you to notice." Bernard ran a hand up his thigh, finding that the tingly sensation was indeed something he would usually take care of on his own time, but he'd already taken a big step... no sense in fouling it up.

Manny pushed the robe off his shoulders, his skin looking almost too pale in the dim room. "I'm not really good at this type of thing..."

"Dreadful, actually." Bernard nodded in agreement, "Would you mind terribly putting your hand right here?" He took the closest hand and set it on his lap.

"Uh, no." Manny shook his head slightly, "Guess not."

They progressed slowly, Manny's hands working over Bernard's thighs closer to his crotch - seeming to find every mole or weird bump or stray hair along the way.

Bernard had pushed himself up against the pillows and let one arm slide behind his friend, pulling him closer as the other had mindlessly began to stroke at Manny's beard. He very much tried not to think about it at all.

Manny began to trace subtle lines up Bernard's cock is it strained closer to his hand, eventually giving in and wrapping his fingers around the length. "Gently, now..." Bernard whispered, a smile crossing his face before he had known it was there.

"Is that alright?" Manny whispered back and Bernard realized that Manny was also stroking himself, so he wasn't the only one aroused. It was a little comforting, if nothing else.

"Yes." He answered simply, pushing his hips into Manny's slow strokes as his hand pushed back into the other man's bed-snarled hair. Before he caught himself, Manny had pressed closer so they were almost face to face... eye to eye. He swallowed, feeling the pressure building in his cock.

The kiss was unexpected, but not bad. The beard grated on his face... but it wasn't nearly as annoying as he imagined it would be. Bernard's mouth opened, letting the other man's tongue slide past his lips as he felt himself getting closer. He knew it wouldn't take long... he'd always been a bit of a quick-draw, but it had never really bothered him.

Manny's hands worked faster still, as though he'd been rubbing cock all his life. His thumb rolled the first signs of wetness over the head, causing Bernard to pull away and bite into his lip as his body acted without him.

"Do you want me to..." Manny started, but Bernard cut him off with a loud grunt that meant something along the lines of 'whatever you do, don't stop that' and apparently he understood.

He pushed his face into Manny's neck then, kissing at the skin as though seeking out a vein. He bit down gently as muscles clenched, groaning loudly into Manny's skin as he came over the top of his hand.

When Bernard pulled back up his friend had switched hands, using his come as a lubricant to his own stroking. His eyes were closed and he had leaned farther back against the sturdy frame, his lips parted slightly as he thought about whatever he thought about at moments like that.

Normally, admittedly, Bernard would simply wipe up with a well used handkerchief and let whomever finish... but it was Manny, and he had come with at least a little intent of something happening. It wouldn't really feel right to just leave him to his own devices. In what he would consider a romantic gesture, Bernard moved onto his belly between Manny's legs before pulling himself up on the bed, pushing up under his thighs.

Manny's eyes opened and he froze, letting his knees be hooked over Bernard's shoulders as he gently began to nose at his cock. "Bernard..." The name was barely a whisper, and missed Bernard's mind completely as he took the length in his mouth.

Manny tasted of sweat and come and just the faintest hint of the soap he'd showered with that morning. Again, he tried not to let himself think... but it was getting tougher to consider himself even slightly apathetic about the bloke. Sure, he found Manny to be the epitome of annoyance... even to the point of being a complete and total twit in general. But, it was the rather annoying things that were beginning to grow on him. Things like the fact that he was always so nice... and so easy to manipulate and so trusting of everything.

His inner monologue slowed considerably when he felt Manny's rough grip on his hair, pushing himself in deeper and faster. It was a side Bernard had never seen before and while it would be interesting to see the look on his face, he wasn't about to slow down...

"Yes... oh God..." Manny was still whispering, mostly incoherent as he seemed to put everything he had into it. The headboard rattled and thumped against the wall, then his body froze and Bernard felt the familiar taste of come on his tongue.

It had been quite a while, and Bernard hoped Manny wasn't too surprised when he sat up and swallowed. Then grabbed blindly for the wine bottle and a cigarette.

They were silent for a long moment, then Manny picked his robe up from where it had been discarded among the rumpled sheets. "Well, then." He coughed slightly, stopping as Bernard swigged right out of the bottle. "I suppose I should get off to bed..."

"Yeah, it's getting late." Bernard nodded, his mind suddenly feeling a little too dim for his liking.

"Right." Manny pushed himself off the bed and pulled on his robe, then looked to Bernard as if waiting for something.

Bernard lit his cigarette and cleared his throat, washing down the remainder with more wine. It hadn't been good, nor bad... it was nice to know that his apathy was still standing strong in the face of opposition. Of course, there was that whole Manny thing to resolve. What did it mean? Why did it matter so much that it had to mean anything?

"Well, good night then, Bernard." Manny seemed to give in, turning towards the door.

Just as he opened it into the hallway Bernard finally thought of something to say, "I'm ambivalent, about you." It was fair, he had some sense of feelings for Manny - though the bigger portion of them not easy to really cope with.

Manny stopped again, as though thinking about it. "I... I guess that's alright."

"Yeah?" Bernard smiled to himself, knowing full and well Manny couldn't see it.

"Sure." Manny took a step out the door.

"Right then." Bernard nodded, "Good night, Manny."

**Author's Note:**

> As per usual, I don't own them and I'm not making any money off this either.


End file.
